The Ringgit Thief

Living the very privileged life that we do, one of our parenting objectives is to try to ensure that our girls know the value of money. Poverty is evident here in Malaysia and I am bombarded with questions from Rosie about where the poor children live, what they eat, what they play with and more. It's very difficult for her to understand and I have to remember just how young she really is when I'm trying to explain. I don't want to freak her out about stories of orphans and abuse but I maintain that it's important that she knows how lucky we are to have everything we need and most things that we want. I'm debating at the moment the pocket money issue. She needs to know that you get nothing for nothing so I'm trying to come up with a list of chores that an almost 5 year old can reasonably be expected to complete, without prompting and yelling, in order to earn her allowance. There's an argument to say that pocket money is unnecessary and overindulgent and since she needs nothing more than she has, what's the point? The point is that she is becoming aware that things cost money, and she needs to know that things cannot be justifiably bought for no reason other than that she covets them. In trying to introduce the earning and saving concept, it's hoped that she'll learn the value of money in a practical way.

I'm hoping that she'll have no problem staying focused on earning her pocket money if the number of times that I have to raid her wallet to retrieve the cash that she's liberated from mine is anything to go by. She also has a rule that if she does the handing over of cash in a shop, she pockets the change and promptly squirrels it. Her father's daughter me thinks......

A Busy Day

We had a busy day today. We got lost trying to find the High School Summer Fair, had a tantrum because we couldn't ride the "furness wheel" (note to self: must explain in future to 3 year old that some words have more than one meaning...), jumped on a bouncy castle for 3 minutes because that was how long each turn was (I know, how unfair is that? Emily had just about managed to climb on and it was time to get off!), queued up at the sausage sizzle for 20 minutes to buy sausages that were deemed to be "gross", wanted to buy the same books at the second hand book stall that I happened to donate last week and then got lost on the way home doubling a 30 minute journey. Nevertheless, it was a successful morning but that was the trouble really, it was only the morning! We were back home for 1.30 and the girls were bouncing off the walls again an hour later despite my best efforts to extol the virtues of 'quiet time' ready for school tomorrow.

The only way to preserve my sanity on a Sunday whilst Andy is away is to fill it to the brim with activity so it was back in the car and round to kidzone soft play. This gave them the opportunity to run, run, run and also served to unite them in a spot of sibling solidarity when one of the other kids was being a little bully and not letting them down the slide. It was Emily protecting Rosie and not the other way round by the way! Pizza and pasta followed and after cleaning their plates we headed home for a much needed (the water was black!) bath and a record breakingly easy bedtime! The last thing that Emily said to me in a very angry voice before she fell into the land of nod was "why didn't you take us swimming today?". Oh well, you can't win them all can you?

Miss Purple Cat

There was a sheep, a frog, yellow birds and all the colours of the rainbow. No, it wasn't last night's dream after too much cheese, it was Rosie's first ever school assembly! The costumes were made, the songs memorised, the slideshow edited and the faces painted. The children of RC have been working hard for weeks to produce their school assembly with the theme 'colours' and it certainly paid off. The boys and girls all had a speaking part and were word perfect. They entertained us with a selection of beautifully sung numbers finishing with an appropriately saccharine version of Wonderful World. Of course there were a lot of 'children singing on stage' facial contortions which is always great comedy value.

Rosie got to be a purple cat which pleased her no end because it encompassed two of her favourite things: purple and cats!

A Small Affair

Our impending move to Dubai has forced our hand in more ways than one. In order to preserve our rights as a couple and as parents we must be married. We already feel married and don't consider that we could possibly be more committed than we already are with 10 years and 2 children under our belts. Nevertheless, sometimes it's necessary to play the game and follow the rules and if we're being honest, it's something that we should have taken care of a long time ago. So today found us registering our intent to be married at the (not so) salubrious venue of Maju Junction in the middle of Kuala Lumpur. Now, you could be forgiven for thinking that it's a shopping mall. In fact, you'd be absolutely right in thinking that it's a shopping mall, but a few floors up is the central registry office for KL. We submitted the paperwork (of which there was surprising little), and have been given the 16th July from 8-11 a.m. as the date and time of our nuptuals. We simply turn up (no jeans allowed!), take a number and wait our turn. I don't think that our Big Day is going to instigate a bidding war between Hello and OK for coverage rights, but it could start a trend; who can spend the least money making their relationship official - our marriage certificate will cost a grand total of 4 pounds 41 pence! Couples who pay together, stay together.....

You couldn't make it up....

Kids are so smart. In the car yesterday I had answered for what felt like the 50th time the question "But why?" from Emily. Anybody who knows children also knows that this curiosity isn't unusual and should be encouraged because it is very beneficial to their development. At the same time, anybody who knows kids also knows how exhausting it can be and half the time there isn't even an answer to the question. The next time, in exasperation I answered "I don't even want to go into why, Emily". A short pause then, "Where is it?". "Where is what Emily?". "Where is why then?". "Where is why what?". "Where is the why that you don't want to go into?....."

If we could just get into the brains of these 3 and 4 year olds to tap into their logic, I'm sure that the world would be a better place. Say what you mean and hear what is said and if it drives your mother crackers that's a bonus.

Movie Sunday

Going to the cinema in Malaysia is disgustingly cheap, as we found out today. We took the girls to see Kung Fu Panda this afternoon and after a bit of an ordeal to get tickets (we made the mistake of trying to queue up the old fashioned way!), it cost us the grand total of 5 pounds for the 4 of us. The bill for the obligatory popcorn and drinks came to a further 2 pounds so all in all a bargain treat. Rosie considers herself to be a seasoned movie goer after seeing both Happy Feet and Shrek 3 at the cinema, and so took it upon herself to educate Emily all about it, for whom today was a first. She got to hear about how it's really scary because it's loud and dark and the screen is bigger than a bus! It mattered not in the end because Emily fell asleep after about 5 minutes and snored through the rest of the movie, so just as well it was so cheap; we'd have been waking her up for sure if we'd paid UK prices. Rosie loved the Panda, especially since his most effective weapon is his fat tummy and she said it reminded her of Grandad Don. The expensive afternoon was topped off by chicken rice from the food court where Emily ate her own body weight in bean sprouts. Cheap kids? Maybe.... Cheap Parents? Definitely.......

In Our Own Beds...

Our floor is fixed and we slept in our own beds last night for the first time in several weeks and it was lovely! We have the added bonus of having Andy home for a few days too so if we concentrate very hard we can almost pretend that everything is normal and that our world is not about to be turned upside down with our imminent relocation. I've thought very hard about how the children will be affected by our move and I've come to the conclusion that the pay off of us living together again as a family under one roof will outweigh any trauma they may feel at leaving their friends and the routines in place here in Malaysia. We intend to have a few weeks at our family homes in England before we start life proper in Dubai in September so the transition between one regular routine and the next will be slower paced and hopefully less obvious. We're also hoping to take our helper Gracie to Dubai with us so that will also provide some stability and consistency to their world. It will undoubtedly be sad for Rosie to say goodbye to her friends and her school but she understands that we will see all those we care about again and that come September she'll have opportunities to meet lots of new people when she starts Year 1 at her new school. Emily has the typical patience and understanding of a 3 year old and just wants to be surrounded by the people she loves and couldn't really care less where we live just as long as Percy our daft cat comes too.

Mummy Bashing

We have a phenomenon in our family that we euphemistically call 'Mummy Bashing'. What this basically describes is that as soon as they see their Daddy, Mummy is not only surplus to requirements apart from cooking their dinner, but is actually fair game in terms of who can be the meanest, rudest, most hurtful child in the house towards her. As much as we try to stress the importance of protecting the feelings of other people and using only kind words, it's a uphill struggle all the way. I console myself with the theory that our girls are so secure in their relationship with me that they see no problem being pigs when the mood takes them. Never is this mood more apparent than after a long separation from Andy. It's been almost a month since they last saw him and after an indecent amount (my monthly ration!) of cuddles and loving when he walked through the door, the Mummy Bashing began in earnest. Only Daddy could put them in and get them out of their car seats; only Daddy could give them their bath; only Daddy could read their stories and sing their songs at bedtime. Since I don't take it personally, it doesn't spoil all the extra time that I'm able to enjoy by myself reading, relaxing and even sleeping because yes, you've guessed it, there's only one word we ever hear in the middle of the night and that's "Daddy". Oh well, never mind, every cloud has it's very own silver lining I guess.....

A Great First Year

We are very proud of Rosie as she approaches the end of her first year at school. Before embarking on her school career last September, we were concerned that her natural reticence combined with her July birthday (making her one of the youngest in the class) could make for a less than positive experience. However, as the months passed, she settled in fantastically well on a number of levels. From day one she fell in love with with her gentle, soft-spoken teacher and several of her words are now accented with Miss Cassidy's lovely Irish lilt. Socially she has proved to be a popular, kind member of her class with more playdate offers than we could reasonably accommodate. Academically she has climbed her personal learning curve with aplomb resulting in increased self-confidence both in and out of the classroom environment and her response to the positive discipline has been whole-hearted giving us guidance as to how to parent her best. It seems that she has some musical ability, as yet untested of course, but it has been recommended that she starts some formal instrument training as soon as we are comfortable. Above all, not once has she woke in the morning and claimed that she didn't want to go to school. We've had no imaginary stomach aches or spells of uncommunicative silence in the car on the way home. She has embraced the whole school experience and as we prepare to move to Dubai in August it is with sadness and fond memories that we leave The Alice Smith School behind.

Fashion Statement

I've come to a very definite conclusion that with very young children you have to choose your battles because there's absolutely no way that you'll win them all. In my pre-children years, I would see the woman in Woolworths closely followed by Spiderman in wellies and think "how could she let him come out dressed like that?" Now I know.

Emily went to nursery in Rosie's shoes today. Aside from being 5 sizes too big, they are ugly, cheap and nasty school regulation that Rosie has to wear for PE. If you are thinking that Emily has no shoes of her own then of course you would be wrong; there are the crocs (x2), the blue sandals that Daddy bought and today I was even willing to let her go to school in the pink sparkly mules from the dressing up box because at least they fit her, but no, it had to be these. It was a little bit of not so passive aggression in protest that her own trainers are wedged in a cupboard behind our fridge which had to be moved out of the kitchen because the floor is (still!) being repaired in our own apartment. There was no tantrum, just a resolute determination that this was her footwear of choice today and no negotiation would be entered into. I have no objection to a little bit of single mindedness and so made a decision to let it go and wish her well (incidentally, we had 30 minutes left to drive a 40 minute school run). Of course, by the time we'd got to the car she'd tripped over twice skinning her knees and spilling her water, so we still had a tantrum all the way to school. Consequences? What's a consequence Mum?

Lovely Mullet

Our girls are very passionate about wearing their pajama bottoms on their heads. It started with a Wee Willie Winkie hat obsession but then they realised that swinging one leg in front of each shoulder gave a pretty fair approximation of long hair and what little girl doesn't yearn for long hair? Unfortunately, whilst Andy and I undoubtedly make beautiful babies, they are not blessed in the hair follicle department. Our girls were gloriously bald until well past their second birthdays and even now the growth is slow and steady rather than copious. A few months ago Emily went in for a spot of self grooming which resulted in the confiscation of the paper scissors. She very cleverly chopped the middle of her fringe very short but I have to say it was straight and neat and if I had to choose better there than at the crown. We went for her third haircut (not third this year, third in her whole life!) this week and the hairdresser misguidedly trimmed the rest of her fringe to match the short bit so now she looks a whole lot worse than when we went in! I would say "never mind, it'll grow' but really when we have approximate growth rate of 2mm per month it looks like we'll be relying on the pajamas for a while yet......

No Boys Allowed......

Rosie and Emily have a much better social life than their parents. Hands up if you'd like to spend two hours jumping on a trampoline, painting canvasses, pretending to be animals to the soundtrack of Happy Feet, eating fairy bread, popcorn and fruit kebabs followed by a choice between triple chocolate cake and a variety of multi coloured day- glo cupcakes? Well, that's exactly what our girls have been doing this afternoon. Two of Rosie's classmates shared a 5th birthday party and what a fab time they all had. With Rosie's birthday coming up in a month's time, her party demands are coming thick and fast to the point where she has sat and drawn up several lists; theme, guests, games, food and accessories (think, pinatas(!), yes I know, it's getting silly). She has even gone so far as to compose some signs with party rules, one of them being "No Boys Allowed to Fight at This Party"! I'm doing my best to persuade her that simple is sometimes best and that there is just as much fun in pass the parcel and jelly and ice cream but she's not really buying it. One great parenting bonus to these major life events for children of this age is the power to threaten to take it all away as a consequence for bad behaviour. I'm not sure if this tactic would be wholly endorsed by the parenting experts but it certainly works in our house. She's never sure if I would really be so cruel as to cancel her party but she's also not willing to take that risk. So at the moment we are enjoying a certain level of cooperation, good manners and tolerance of Sister. After July, who knows? Perhaps Father Christmas can be persuaded to start spying early this year.....

Nostalgia

As well as looking to the future, having my children has made me look to the past. Rosie loves Enid Blyton books. They are deliciously (and officially, according to those in the 'know') politically incorrect but to my mind if the strongest expression of disgust is "Pooh" then it can't all be bad! She didn't, of course, choose these books of her own volition, but was strongly guided and may even have been gifted them by a certain someone who has the fondest memories of being taken to places far away in somebody else's imagination. As we share these books at bedtime I recollect just what Amelia Jane will do next with the plasticine and the watering can, even if it is 30 years since I heard to these tales read by my own Mum. Emily's TV of choice this week is Rupert Bear. It's somewhat different to my childhood version; it's very definitely been updated to appeal to the more sophisticated tastes of our 21st Century children but Rupert himself retains his gentle, helpful nature and most importantly his yellow checked trousers and scarf. Whilst we've done our best to include the latest, (and, according to the experts) most appropriate Smartie Book Prize winners and award winning CBEEBIES programmes in our girls libraries, it's almost too tempting to resist the urge to reminisce when the opportunity arises.....

Water, Water Everywhere....

Long before our impending move to Dubai was announced, we decided that we had outgrown apartment living and after a long hard head scratch decided to buy our very first family house with a garden. So after a long wait, we are finally in possession of the keys to our dream home. Now for the rub.... it is doubtful that we will ever live in it. Circumstances have come together and decided that we are moving to Dubai almost exactly at the time that the kitchen will be fitted, the garden landscaped and the windows treated with made to measure blinds in just the right shade of chocolate.

Nevertheless, we are emotionally detached enough (after much strong talking to self) to realise the investment value of such a property and who's to say that we won't be back in Malaysia in years to come? So, the process of fitting out the house so it can be rented moves on. Today was what should have a been a milestone day and indeed it was in it's own way. The water was turned on, the booster to soup up the water pressure was activated....and the ceilings flooded. Arrgggghhhh. The first explanation given was a cracked tile on the roof which had let in the rain. This was somewhat difficult to believe since it rains almost every day in Malaysia, so why the leak would happen to coincide with turning the taps on is beyond my technical understanding. Upon further investigation, it transpires that we have a hole in the water tank and none of the pipe joints have been sealed properly! As the deadline looms, the patience diminishes. "Mummy, why do you shout so much?" Why indeed.....

Miracles

Kids are miraculous and I don't just mean in their very existence, but in the way they bounce back and sail through illness and adversity. Rosie woke this morning smiling and happy, her pain of the last 2 days dismissed and forgotten (especially at medicine time when she claimed to need it no more). Emily's biggest concern was that she couldn't take her bike to nursery and there was no chance of her accepting why not when her friend (who lives two doors down from school) takes his every day! The next miracle that I'm waiting for is a day without a tantrum... Wishful thinking? Perhaps. In the meantime, I expect no help from above when it comes to workmen. It's been a week since we moved out of our home and it's gone from a tiled mess to a concrete bomb site with no end in sight. Oh to be 3 again and worried only about my bicycle.....

Poor Rosie

Nothing renders a parent more impotent than a child in pain in the middle of the night... and earache must be one of the cruelest for any 4 year old to have to endure. Despite magic medicine administered to the max and as many cuddles as could be reasonably tolerated, this morning found Rosie and I at the doctors and in possession of yet another round of antibiotics. The diagnosis of an ear infection and the start of tonsilitis did much to explain our middle of the night ordeal and gave me one more reason to feel guilty, as if any parent needs more! Should I have allowed her to swim yesterday for so long? Well, her ear infection was certainly exacerbated by our lovely time at the pool, but how is a mother to know that these horrors are lurking, ready to pounce? There are few occasions that I resort to bribing the children, but taking nasty medicine is one of those but that's another (guilt ridden) story......

Not a Bad Old Life.....

Sundays are the hardest day of the week in this life when Daddy is elsewhere.... No Grandmas to call on and no Grandads to see. Many people have Sunday as their 'Family Day'; sacred, special and not to be invaded. We were fortunate enough today to be invited to a local country club for lunch and swimming by some of Rosie's classmates families and what a lovely, relaxed time we had. The girls and their friends swam for 4 hours (hopefully making for a very easy bedtime tonight!), we ate lunch by the pool and chilled out in the tropical heat. It's not a bad old life is it?.......

Temporary Blip

Our World is being turned upside down in more ways than one at the moment. As well as the much anticipated move to Dubai and the to be expected preparations for that, we're facing another challenge this week... The tiled floor in our apartment has exploded (heat, humidity and poor workmanship all contributing to the debacle) and we've found ourselves effectively camping in temporary accommodation! With none of the comforts of home, Rosie and Emily are pushing all the right buttons and it's taking all our reserves of patience to stay friends. It won't be forever though; we're hoping that by the time Andy comes back for a visit, we'll be back where we belong, albeit for the remaining few weeks. I'm hoping that this blip will make us appreciate our home comforts all the more when we finally get to enjoy them once again........

Reflections....

As the time approaches for us to leave Malaysia, it seems appropriate to reflect....

We will miss.....

The wonderful friends who became our surrogate families;
Being able to swim outside every single day of the year;
Fresh tropical fruit cheaper per piece than apples;
Manicures for 3 pounds and haircuts for 10;
Having tropical paradise beach resorts on our doorstep.

We won't be sorry to say goodbye to......

Roads that lead nowhere and drivers who can't drive;
Mosquitos, giant cockroaches and geckos in surprising places;
20 hour journeys to 'home'.

I'm sure that each list could be extended further, but I'm happy to realise that the positives were much easier to compile than the negatives. Have we wasted 4 years in KL? Absolutely not.....

An Update

Our family is moving to Dubai in the summer of 2008. After 4 wonderful and productive (Emily was born here in 2005) years, we are saying goodbye to Malaysia, a country that we have been privileged enough to call home. Our Asian chapter is not quite finished yet though; we have a house to refurbish, homes to rent out, a wedding to undertake and many, many goodbyes to endure. The next weeks will be challenging and as the girls and I are home alone with Daddy already in the Middle East, the adventure is just beginning.....